By day I am the Marketing Manager at our family-owned Sales and Customer Service Training business, and when I find a moment I pretend I am some sort of writer. I have no great aspirations of fame or success, I just enjoy it. I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia with my pug Jay who spends a significant amount of his life eating, sleeping, begging for food, smelling stuff, peeing on every tree we walk by and eating gross shit he finds on the ground.
In the marginalia of one of Michaelangelo's last dissertations, he wrote in Latin: Ancora Imparo, "Still I am Learning". He was 86 years old.
"I cannot discover new oceans unless I have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
Give me one friend, just one...
who meets the needs of all my varying moods. {<3Jelly}
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh
Puggetaboutit
Amazing Things
Streakers
East Coast Camping (does not include campers)
Hugh MacLeod's drawings on www.gapingvoid.com
Cold Duck (Dom Duckion)
My best friend Jess
Derek - the smartest boy I know
Bonnie Raitt, Patty Griffin, Susan Tedeschi
Clapton (my boyfriend)
Drinking in Sweatpants
Springsteen
Christopher Moore Books
You Must Always Face The Curtain With a Bow
"You'll see it's all a show, keep them laughing as you go- just remember that the last laugh is on you..."
Summer's here and the time is right...
... for racing in the streets
Funny Shit My Mom Says
Mom: When you were kids and we played Barbie I used to make Barbie suicidal because she couldn't put her heels down and Ken had no penis. She would jump off buildings and stuff. And she'd fall over all the time because her boobs were too big and her waist was too small. Mom (taking my hand and doing the actions): Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the stupid assholes. Actually the church is filled with dyslexics wondering if there really is a dog. Mom (Opening mail at work): Fuck, I hate getting crap from people. They shouldn't be allowed to send companies crap in the mail. Me: Don't you and Dad send out stuff like that to companies? Mom: Yeah, but we're entitled. Those people should die.
Mom: I like to consider myself a math and philosophy guy... but not the math part. Or the philosophy part. Dad: That just leaves you as a guy. Mom: Or the guy part. Mom: Do you want to know where you were conceived? Me: Ahhh, gross mom, no... Mom: Okaaaaay... but there's a reason you're an outdoor girl...
Mom: Holy shit Megan are you gonna drink all that milk? Me: I was thinkin about it... Mom: What are you, a friggin cow? Me: Mom, cows don't drink milk they only make it. Mom: Megan, you think cows sit around thinking, "there's a farmer I better squeeze out some juice for him..."? Me: Well... do all cows drink it or just the babies? Mom: Yeah, the cows sit around going, "C'mere grampa cow, suck on this"... it frightens me what you don't know. Me: I gotta go put that in my facebook quotes Mom: Put in the stupid thing you said first, that grampa thing out of context could be really bad.... Mom: The only thing I use my rolling pin for is crushing ice for my drinks. Mom: Sherry is a sipping drink... I only sip it. By the quart.
Mom (playing foosball against Dad): Oops I had my feet up in the air... momma always told me that was a bad position
Me: Mom, how old would a guy have to be for you to be upset that I was dating him?
Mom: I don't know, like... 40?
Me: What?! You wouldn't care if I was dating someone almost 20 years older?
Mom: Megan, you're an adult. Plus they have all the money.